A few posts ago I wrote about sharing the gift of storytelling with a loved one. There are many members in our communities and families who would be empowered through the act of sharing their story, but lack the time, resources, or ability to do so. Yet their stories deserve to be released just as much as anyone else's. This is where you come in.

Many of us have grown up surrounded by stories that have been passed down through generations. We've listened to our grandmothers recount their childhoods, sharing memories of being the oldest of 11 siblings, or watched our grandfathers beam with pride as they relive the moment they proposed to the love of their life. These stories, told so often, become etched in our minds to the point where we can almost recite them ourselves. Or perhaps, we’ve noticed the elderly man in our neighborhood, a fixture of the landscape longer than we or even our parents can remember. What untold stories lie behind his eyes? What monumental changes has he witnessed in the community, both subtle and profound? In his memories, there may be rich, untapped narratives—stories that paint a portrait of a time long past and offer a deeper understanding of the world as it once was. These voices, often overlooked, are reservoirs of history, wisdom, and insight, waiting to be shared before they fade into silence.

Writing someone’s story can be a profoundly healing and empowering experience, not only for them but for you as well. As you immerse yourself in another’s narrative and discover the depths of their life journey, you often gain a deeper understanding of your own. This process fosters a unique bond and shared connection, one that can bridge generational divides and facilitate familial healing.

Helping someone tell their story can look a few different ways. Usually it involves multiple recorded conversations, extensive note taking, research, outlining, and finally, the writing process. However, before delving into these stages, there are a few key questions and topics you can present to your muse to help them prepare for the journey of storytelling.

1. Who are you? Both beyond external influences (family, society, culture) and because of them. When you peel back the layers, what are you left with? Who are you at your core?

   
   

   Starting off a little heavy, I know. They'll likely be taken aback by this question, and it may take them some time to answer it. Give them the space to do so. Maybe give them a notebook to journal about it first. Throughout the book writing process, encourage them to continue to reflect on this question. Their answer may change. Or maybe, remembering experiences and themes in their life will reinforce their understanding of their initial answer. I also encourage you to think about your answer to this question as well. Perhaps sharing your answer with them will help them come up with their own.

   
   

2. What do you remember from when you were little? Who did you live with and what were they like? Describe their personalities and some things you remember about them? What did you do for fun? What was school like for you growing up? What was your favorite subject?

   
   

   These questions dive into their childhood without making assumptions about who was there and what they were like. It also allows them to reflect on the beginning of their life journey and the foundation of who they are. It may seem irrelevant to know their favorite childhood subject when writing your muse's memoir or biography, but discussing their love for 3rd grade math may bring up the memory of a moment they shared with an older - then 7th grade - brother, who used an analogy about a school crush to explain a difficult math problem. The analogy may have been so ridiculous it had them cracking up for days, but it developed a love of math in your muse for years to come. This could be a memory your muse hadn't thought about in years, yet it will add so much color to their book you are writing.

   
   

3. What was your first job and what did you learn?

   
   

   This answer will reveal a few a things, e.g. the decade they entered the job market and what it was like back then, and perhaps even why they entered the job market, was it to support family or themselves? This question may also be the first time your muse has thought about what they learned from their first job and what it meant to and for them.

   
   
   
   

   When writing someone’s life story—whether it spans their entire existence or focuses on a specific period or theme—you are entering into a relationship built on trust, patience, and empathy. To open up about the complexities of one’s life and experiences requires a rare vulnerability, a deep well of confidence, and an inherent grace. The process demands an openness that not only allows the storyteller to reveal themselves but also invites the writer to truly listen and understand. Throughout this journey, countless conversations will unfold, each one revealing more layers, more truths. In this delicate dance of shared discovery, you will find that these three questions, though simple in form, can serve as the foundation for fostering a meaningful connection that allows the story to unfold in its most authentic and powerful way.

   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   Summer J. Robinson

   
   

   Publisher. Filmmaker. CEO. Building Silver Bangles Productions, a multidisciplinary storytelling agency committed to telling and elevating stories that inspire Afrikan diasporic intergenerational healing. We do this through book publications, TV, Film, and Documentary productions, programming, and education.